Sunday, August 7, 2011

BONUS Comparison!!!

This is so much fun that I couldn't resist another find. This time, it's.......Insomnia.

Insomnia symptoms:
difficulty falling asleep
waking often/trouble falling back to sleep
waking up too early
feeling tired upon waking

...and representing the pharmacological geniuses this time is Ambien :

Ambien has 3 levels of side effects: common, infrequent, and rare. I, however, prefer NONE.

Ambien Oral:

Common Side Effects:
pretty easy, here...just hiccups. whew!

Infrequent Side Effects:
Depression
Confused
Nightmares
Double Vision
Problems with Eyesight
Dry Mouth
Indigestion
Urinary Tract Infection
Joint Pain
Muscle Pain
Drowsiness
Loss of Memory
Sensation of Spinning or Whirling
Dizzy
Head Pain
Feel Like Throwing Up
Throwing Up
Diarrhea
Stomach Cramps
Feeling Weak
Not Feeling Well

DAAAAAMNNN!!!

Rare Side Effects:
Feeling Restless
Problem Behavior
Abnormally Low Blood Pressure
Hallucination
Chronic Trouble Sleeping
Rash
Life Threatening Allergic Reaction
Giant Hives
Reaction due to an Allergy
Easily Angered or Annoyed
Falling
Taking Habit Forming Drugs
Extreme Sense of Well Being
Perform Complex Natural behaviors while Asleep
Acute Infection of the Nose, Throat or Sinus
Cannot Focus Thoughts
Low Energy
Uncoordinated
Loss of Appetite
Heart Throbbing or Pounding
Nervous
Anxious

Wow...just...WOW. I think I'll stick with a shot of vodka or three.

Have fun!


Why???

I've had a bit of time to actually think about all the prescription drugs, their commercials, and their devastation to the human race. I'm going to post comparisons to actually weathered the storm of the original malady. Week 1:

Comparison #1: Hay Fever vs. Claritin Oral.

Hay Fever Yeah, the runny nose and sneezing suck. The bleary eyes and congestion irritate the shit out me...but...check out what lovely diversions Clearitin offer to keep your mind occupied as the drug companies upgrade their corporate jets...

Side effects of Claritin Oral:

Blood Disorder
Nightmares
Blurred Vision
Problems with Eyesight
Ringing in the Ears
Dryness of the Nose
An Increase in the Thickness of Lung Secretions
Dry Mouth
Sun-Sensitive Skin
Drowsiness
Dizzy
Excessive Sweating
Rash
Weight Gain
Increased Hunger
Throat Dryness
Fast Heartbeat
Difficult or Painful Urination
Stomach Cramps
Nervous
Confused
Over Excitement

yeah, we rule. f**k mother natrure. I love being confused and gaining weight--no more runny nose...


* keep in mind absolutely not a doctor--nor do i play one on tv. i just am so f**king tired of prescription drug commercials. Grrrrr!